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One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of marital infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent cheating and, if it happens, recover and heal from it.
You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.”
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
- Sales Rank: #6770 in Books
- Brand: Glass, Shirley P./ Staeheli, Jean Coppock
- Published on: 2004-02-03
- Released on: 2004-02-03
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x 1.10" w x 5.50" l, .90 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 448 pages
- Atria Books
From Publishers Weekly
Refusing to pander to audiences expecting Dr. Phil-type quick fixes, Glass (who has appeared on Oprah herself) chooses "a new, fact-based, scientifically and therapeutically responsible approach" to a subject she contends is fraught with public and professional misconceptions. Drawing on research studies (her own and others') and clinical cases from her 25 years as a psychotherapist, she explores "the new crisis of infidelity" resulting from platonic relationships that become progressively intense. Personal and professional friendships between men and women have become so prevalent and accepted that, according to Glass, even "good" people in "good" marriages can be swept away in a riptide of emotional intimacy more potent than sheer sexual attraction. Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships "safe," repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma. Glass's credentials and commitment lend this book credence as a valuable resource; Staeheli's easy, personable style and the well-organized format make it user-friendly, too.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
Michele Weiner-Davis author of The Sex-Starved Marriage So illuminating, instructive, down-to-earth, and inspiring that it truly transforms lives. Since no marriage -- including yours -- is immune to infidelity, this book is a godsend.
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples NOT ' Just Friends' puts a new face on infidelity. The author, using clinical experience and current research, broadens its definition, causes, and means of resolution. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.
Pat Love, Ed.D. author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy A must-read for anyone whoever hopes to be happy in long-term relationship.
About the Author
Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., one of the world's leading experts on infidelity, draws on more than two decades of original research and hundreds of clinical cases to provide a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity -- from suspicion and revelation to healing. In addition to offering concrete advice about how to tell, what to tell, and when to tell, Dr. Glass presents eye-opening quizzes that will help you ensure safe friendships and secure marriages by exploring the vulnerabilities in your relationship and any outside influences that may put it at risk. With her profound, practical guidance, you can prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it.
Most helpful customer reviews
38 of 39 people found the following review helpful.
Eye Opening
By Normalization
This book is absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it for ALL relationships, whether someone has been unfaithful or not. I have been married for almost 6 years and recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful for the past year of our marriage. It felt like somebody literally pulled a rug out from under me and I hit the floor with a thud. All of my friends of course said I should pack up my stuff and leave. Friends and family may mean well, but most of them don't have the slightest clue on what to do when it comes to relationships. I bought this book and one other in search of answers and guidance.
The book really opened my eyes to what all is involved when an affair happens, and it also shows that affairs can happen in good marriages if safeguards are not followed to protect the marriage. My attention was immediately hooked after the first quiz in the book which was created to let people know if the person they say is "just a friend" really is just that. I can honestly say after reading this book I have realized that even though I never physically cheated on my wife, I came close to having an emotional affair at one point. What I also liked about this book is that most books that deal with affairs always seem to be focused around the husband being the cheater. The author shared not only about female infidelity, but also research that backed up the different reasons for why males and females cheat.
The book wants you to ask the question "Is your spouse genuinely a dishonest person, or were they dishonest because of the affair?" There was also an excellent point made that you should NEVER discuss any problems in your relationship with someone who could potentially be a replacement for your partner. Only discuss problems with someone of the opposite sex if they are a "FRIEND of the marriage" and wants to see your marriage work. The author also provides an excellent strategy using "walls and windows" and the best ways to protect your marriage. This book not only saved my marriage but also saved my sanity as well. It is a MUST READ!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A great read
By PJ
I found the book very cathartic. I found that I was having a lot of the feelings described in it.The writer was spot on when she spoke of the dimensions of pain and grief that are associated with the relationship before, during, and after the betrayal. I appreciate her point of view in trying to save the relationship, but for me I decided that sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on.
A great read never the less.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
I don't think we could have done this without guidance.
By Vickie L. Stephenson
My husband and I worked our way thru this book. It was a starter for many conversations to help us recover from this devastating occurrence. I highly recommend this in conjunction with "Helping Your Spouse Recover From Your Affair". I don't know how we could have recovered without guidance from these books. We were very committed and worked thru these together. What a difference in our marriage today!
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